i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
