Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
