she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
