just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
