i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
