There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
