isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
