Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
