dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
