i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
