ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
