it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She announced her abortion via fbk
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
