i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
