Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
