i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
