Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
