i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
