This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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