hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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