I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
