Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
