I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
