Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
