is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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