im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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