I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
