I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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