Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
