Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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