Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
