can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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