literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish I only lived at night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
