I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
