Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
