Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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