i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
