Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
