you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
