North Korea, Best Korea!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
