oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
