i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
