HIV tests are more positive than that guy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
