remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
