Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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