How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
