I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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