Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
