Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She bit a glass in half.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
