Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
