dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
