Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
