it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
