white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
