so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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