Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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