She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
