oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
